Okay. A lot to digest and take in. Still with me?
Shorty is Tony. There is no Tony; at least not in the sense of his importance in her life.
1. both have similar looks according to Rain (I found this out when I came across a picture on her computer and she lied about it. Then I saw Shorty's picture in his office when Rain took me there).
2. Tony is Italian, Shorty is half Italian
3. both are involved in real estate ventures
4. both have a lot of money
5. both have adult or near adult daughters
6. both enjoy golf
7. both have taken Rain away to beach type resorts
8. there was no picture of Tony anyplace. Just pictures of Shorty.
9. under her bed were pictures of her and Shorty: a couple of years ago I wanted to pick out some cute panties for her to put on for me when she got out of the shower: in that underwear drawer, underneath where she kept a picture of us on the dresser, was that small picture frame of her and Shorty.
10. both bought her jewelry (I believe Shorty did)
11. both were older. Shorty is 21 years older than Rain. Tony was supposed to be about 14 years older.
12. when she was drinking early on in our relationship, she mentioned how she loved aspects of him, aspects of me and wished she could combine us.
13. she talked about one day if Shorty can set her up someplace, she could run some business for him, stay home, etc. She talked about Tony offering her marriage, a house, etc. so she could stay home, supposedly give her salary for doing nothing if she would choose him.
14. she could never offer a last name for Tony or any specifics.
15. she mentioned how her boss was thinking of leaving his wife one day but could not do it. perhaps he was waiting for his daughters to marry, finish college? or is this the bull story he told Rain? All these "other women" think they're special. They're different to the married man. But, over 90% of them never leave their wives. Hmmmm. If this is true, then Rain is a complete moron. And a weak person.
16. if Tony was such an important person in her life, then why never introduce him to her mother? maybe she already did. In Shorty.
17. she never wanted me to meet Shorty or be at her work.
18. i was never able to come to any Caribe functions or parties. there was always some kind of weird excuse or something. Never shall her two worlds meet.
19. both liked to come over for visits to her house at night
20. both had a residence in Winter Park
Her lies ran so deep.
So, if Shorty was the other guy in our lives when we first started dating (read previous posts), then she was having more than just an fling with her married boss. This was something much more. Think about it. How many women put a picture of herself and a man in a heart frame and keep it all these years if she did not love the man? And with him always around, there is no way for her to get over that. At least not fully. So, lets say she told the truth for once and ended it with him, chose me. The only real proof I have is that the guy gave her back an envelope of dirty pics of them. It was on her kitchen counter. I gave her a similar envelope the month before of us (pictures of us at disney, etc.). I even asked her, hey are these our pics? She said yeah. I saw them and my mouth hit the floor. They were older pictures. She looked heavier, different hairstyle than when I knew her. She freaked and got rid of them. He apparently gave them back.
I remember something she told me about "Tony." After he would come over for sex, he would have to leave. No sleeping over usually (gee I wonder why). And she had underwear and some Hanes cotton tee shirts in a drawer for him. Stupid me for trying to put something away for her. Same size it looks like as her boss. Mediums. So, back to this story. He would fuck her and sometimes leave money for her on the nightstand so she can buy herself something nice, etc. Rain said it made her feel like a whore. But she took the money, didn't she? Maybe that was secretly exciting to her. Then I remembered how her boss used to take out money and give it to her if she was crying or upset. Like, here stop crying. Hmmmm. I wonder, when she complains so much about bills and money, where the extra comes from sometimes. Poor Rain felt like a whore. Well, you act like one. Hellloooooo?
So, okay, maybe that makes me feel a bit better. But, how long did that last? I mean, they worked together five days a week? That is just weird. Sick. He always gave her a hard time about taking off from work (well, duh, why give her a vacation so she can go away with some guy) except at XMas time for her family. We broke up in 2007. Did he have something to do with it? Did it sour and that is why she wanted me back five weeks later? Maybe he did not think it was "the right time" to leave his wife. She mentioned how he wanted to leave her many times but never could due to many circumstances. She was not an invited guest to his daughter's weddings. She watched the kids and made money. How did she feel seeing his wife there? How does she feel now, if her ex's email was true, that his wife knows about them? Does she not have any shame? Hate to say it, but not many women are going to throw away a relationship without a parachute. Especially not someone with a personality disorder who has to have attention and affection. She has to run away from me. From modeling; things associated with me and this "other life." Does she have a split personality? Dual personas? Multiples? What are the chances they had nothing at all for the last five years (except when we were apart a few years ago) and now, all of a sudden, we go on a break and she runs off with him for the weekend? It tells me something had been one of the possibilities:
1. going on the whole time
2. went on in the past, it stopped, then started up again sometime this year or lately
3. happening on and off during our relationship (if you can call it that)
4. he is someone she runs to whenever she is depressed, single, etc. ("he is someone I can always lean on."). Yeah I bet she leaned on him. And I am sure he leaned on her.
My only consolation is the fact that she used to complain that "Tony" was boring most of the time, just wanted to watch tv after fooling around, had a hard time getting it up after he found out I was banging her back then and had a weird sexual quirk I find disgusting, strange and hilarious all at once. I guess my sexual superiority is my only consolation I have though.
I remember she gave me genital warts before we broke up in 2007. I had been with no one else for a year and a half. Just her. I remember we were together, broke up months later and I got them. After we reconciled, I confronted her about it. She apologized, blaming something medical that happened years ago and it flares up at times. And she blamed her ex husband at one point. Because HE was a CHEATER! Umm, what does that make you, honey? Now, it has me thinking. Was this from some scumbag in a bar? Was it from Shorty, who has his own history of fucking everyone except his wife? Good chance. Nice. I'll always remember Rain. She gave me the gift that keeps on giving.
Even if this whole theory is not true, parts of it are. I saw the pictures. She admitted some of it to me. I find it interesting how she could not admit to more. It's like her psyche won't let her. Her mind can't wrap around it. She won't admit it, maybe to herself. Why? Well, in her case, it makes her a bad person. People with personality disorders are known splitters. Black or white; good or bad. She feels inside she is a bad person. It is probably one of the reasons she does not like herself. There's a good chance she cheated on me with him at some point. I just have to accept that and move on. She's a whore. And I do not say that in anger. She's a bought and paid for whore. She acts so pious when it comes to cheating in relationships and she does it herself. And if it's true that she never cheated on me, she is still "the other woman" in his relationship. I am starting to doubt it, though. What would make her stop cheating with him? Me? Our relationship? What is going to stop HIM from pursuing her? Her saying no? Her job is everything to her. Plus, I would never find out, so who's it hurting? His wife won't ever find out so who's it hurting? Wait. Umm. We found out. Unbelievable. The word shocked comes to mind again.
I loved her. I really did.
I have to admit, knowing this information and seeing what she is like makes it easier for me to forget her and move on. She is troubled. Fucked in the head. This is the life she wants to live? Ooookaaay. Enjoy. A bpd or hpd forever. No real remorse for her actions. No true empathy for me for what she's done. Everything is justified in her head. Everything is done for a reason. I told her she needed help. She just nodded, tears in her eyes. Like a child who had been caught doing something and scolded by the parent.
Unfuckingbelievable.
That's a great word by the way.
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